At 26, I’m certainly considered an adult. Most days I do adult things – take care of my two young children, run an online business, pay bills, keep our house running, and talk to my husband during lunch about what’s going on at home. But many times throughout a difficult day, I don’t feel like an adult. I feel like a child who wants nothing more than to call ‘mommy’ and just melt into a puddle.
My children run to me for comfort when something is wrong. They stub their toe, brother steals a toy, they want a snack, etc. Whatever it is, they come running for a hug or for me to ‘fix it’. And almost always I am able to dry those tears and make them happy once again.
I have gained the maturity to curb my ‘panic’ mode for most small problems. Obviously I can get myself a snack now-a-days 😉 I can even cope with some of the tough stuff life throws at us without calling someone else for help. But when I’m having one of those days where not much seems to be going right, it’s very tempting to pick up the phone or shoot a quick text about my woes.
I often wonder if I will always feel that need. Will I always feel like I need support, guidance, or just someone to listen when things aren’t going my way? Does being a true adult mean that we are entirely self-sufficient? Or does it mean that we’re smart enough to know when we need help?
My children leave their broken toys laying on the floor. They move on to something new. As we get older and our ‘toys’ are bigger and more expensive we don’t have the luxury of just casting them aside and moving on. We develop problem solving skills and we learn how to go about fixing things – both physically and emotionally.
So maybe the need for reassurance doesn’t mean you’re not an adult at all. Maybe it just means that as humans, sometimes we need to feel validated in our decisions. I’m still not sure I fit the definition of ‘adult’. But, I’m trying everyday and that’s all any of us can do.