This Is Life

We are in potty training mode at my house…It’s not the first time, nor will it be the last.

Yesterday  was spent cleaning literal pee and poop off my floors, chairs, couches.  We did have some successes and my son found much pride in those.  I was angry and frustrated much of the day and I was exhausted, left feeling defeated.

I woke up with tight sore shoulders, tension pulling at my temples – reminders that I let the stress get the better of me yesterday.  Potty training, messes, fights over toys, fifteen calls back and forth between pharmacy and doctor, a week of waiting to get a simple refill…and it still hadn’t been done.   I didn’t want today to be full of ‘annoyances’ or fights like yesterday.  And as I was bent over picking up dirty towels, my youngest son stood over me.  Thick beautiful lashes framing those soft, baby blue eyes.  Little crinkles in the corners as he smiled big and wide.  He was happy.  He was toddling around in his pajamas, waiting for a diaper change, and he was happy.  I smiled back at him, his happiness pooling into my own chest and filling my own heart.  Warmth that starts from deep within and pulls you out of your own trivial worry and frustration.

ThisIsLifeClothes and diapers were changed.  A minor whining event over not getting pants with a reminder that it’s easier to potty without them.  More phone calls and finally success.  I jokingly stick my tongue out at the boys as I pour their cereal into their cheery colored ‘fishy’ bowls.  They giggle and cackle because mommy is being silly.  Their laughter is worth more than money.  It permeates your soul.  It breaks apart the bars I place over my own heart so often.  It reminds me that life CAN be simple.  You don’t have to worry because everything important is right here and it is safe.  It is happy.  You are doing GOOD.

I easily get caught up in what I don’t like about my day.  I let it take over my mood and I often miss the happy parts that have been laid out for my taking.  Dishes and laundry end up trumping block towers more often than I care to admit.  But if I take just a few moments, I see their happiness.   Pure and simple delight in the simple things of life.

I take a step back, and I immerse myself in their innocence and their happiness.  There is nothing extraordinary in the every day…except that those moments will be worth more than any sum of money when they’re gone.  This is life.  This is my joy…

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