Passions of fame through writing. Visions of a life lived to its fullest and wholly embraced. The desire to make a difference in the lives of those I love and of strangers I have yet to meet. She cajoles me to let go of fear. To set aside worry and doubt. To stop blaming finances, motherhood, and wifedom for all that I ‘can’t’ be. Because I can. I will – if I follow her voice and light.
I squashed her talents and her voice. I tried to make a new path that abandoned all that had built her. Literal blood, sweat, and tears often stained with things we don’t speak about. I thought that burying her was doing myself a favor. I was wrong. She wasn’t the embodiment of the past or those all-consuming memories. She was the result of overcoming circumstances that could have broke her. She was the good coming from the bastion of hell. She survived…and I tried to bury her.
I allowed her small breaths of air – enough to keep the buried passions alive. Each word that I write brings her up out of the grave. Each accomplishment gives hope to a life I had forgotten to dream of.
Because I live – so does she. She is stronger than I believed and her strength is my own. She is me – unbridled and daring to succeed.
This is a small excerpt from something much larger that I am currently working on.