She Is Me

SheIsMeI feel her screaming at me often.  Blindly, madly, passionately she screams, ” You are more.  There is more waiting than this life you know.  Immerse yourself in it – find your own path.”

Passions of fame through writing.  Visions of a life lived to its fullest and wholly embraced.  The desire to make a difference in the lives of those I love and of strangers I have yet to meet.  She cajoles me to let go of fear.  To set aside worry and doubt.  To stop blaming finances, motherhood, and wifedom for all that I ‘can’t’ be.  Because I can.  I will – if I follow her voice and light.

I squashed her talents and her voice.  I tried to make a new path that abandoned all that had built her.  Literal blood, sweat, and tears often stained with things we don’t speak about.  I thought that burying her was doing myself a favor.  I was wrong.  She wasn’t the embodiment of the past or those all-consuming memories.  She was the result of overcoming circumstances that could have broke her.  She was the good coming from the bastion of hell.  She survived…and I tried to bury her.

I allowed her small breaths of air – enough to keep the buried passions alive.  Each word that I write brings her up out of the grave.  Each accomplishment gives hope to a life I had forgotten to dream of.

Because I live – so does she.  She is stronger than I believed and her strength is my own.  She is me – unbridled and daring to succeed.

 

This is a small excerpt from something much larger that I am currently working on.

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