Motherhood

MotherhoodThere are days when I have no energy left for wit.  When all I have left in me is just dead to the bone tired and I can’t function anymore.  I have cleaned up the same messes twenty times, I have been yelled at, had food thrown at me, and inevitably tripped over the very toy I swear I put up twenty minutes ago.

There are nights when bedtime is the only salvation I feel is near.  When taking just ten minutes to hide in the shower is the only alone time or the only thing I will do for me all day long.

Many days I don’t leave my pajamas.  I can go a full week without wearing shoes.  My mailbox is the farthest I will get from home for days.

I don’t know what it’s like to eat out without someone having a meltdown or running around the table.  We can’t go anywhere that doesn’t have chicken and fries.  If we forget the sippy cups, it’s sure to be a long evening.

There are times when I just give up and literally sob in a corner.  When I feel like I have given up everything that made me who I am for two people who demand every bit of me.

Motherhood is exhausting.  It is heartbreaking.  It is work….long, hard work that does not end.

But there are days when I laugh uncontrollably.  When I don’t notice the dishes piling up or the self-filling laundry bins.

There are weeks when we go on adventures in the backyard.  We go to faraway lands and become pirates and sea creatures.

There are nights of wonder when they clear their plates of a new food.  There are evenings out where no one cries or rebels.

There are, “I love you Mommy”s and “You’re the best mommy”s.  There are “I made this for you”s.

There is a little hand tugging on your shirt and saying it’s okay.  A hug, a kiss, a good night snuggle you wish you could make last a little while longer.

Some nights I forget that it’s bed time and just enjoy the chaos.  The giggles, the screams of delight.  The, “You can’t catch me”s.

Motherhood is all-consuming.  There is love with no bounds and laughter with no bottom.

Motherhood is me.

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