My oldest child tries to boss my youngest around. He tries to tell him what to do, what not to do, even what he wants for dinner… I often tell him that he needs to do him and let his brother do himself. As much as I say that to my children it is still a lesson I work on as their mother.
As beings that thrive on interaction and are often driven by emotion; we are easily influenced by our surroundings and the opinions of others. Human interaction is a vital part of our being and it can be a great motivator, comfort, and inspiration. What we need to be mindful of is that we don’t always know someone’s intentions or their own state of being when they hurt us. Often no ill will is meant and we have just taken words or actions out of context. In a world full of screens that show no emotion, a text or social media interaction is easily skewed.
While we certainly need to be mindful of how our own words and actions affect others, we also need to step back and not let others have an all reaching grasp on us. It’s okay to brush something off and move on. It’s okay not to let one tiny part of our day have control over the rest of it – or our attitude.
Most people are not going to be ‘happy’ all the time, but you can have happiness permeate your life by choosing to let the positive influences trickle in while the negative trickle out. Life is about choices and outlook. We can’t control everything that comes into our own little bubbles. We do have control over most of whom and what we let stay and we can control how we let the other factors affect us.
You should never strive to have control over another person’s thoughts or actions. We each have our own free will that dictates what we do and say in our own lives. We don’t need to control another human being to control how we react to others. We just need to control ourselves and learn to push negativity to the side when it doesn’t play a role in our own well-being. If someone else has a desire to express why they don’t agree with what you’re doing, that’s fine. But their opinion doesn’t have to be your own. And you don’t have to take it to heart.
Being in control of our universe is pretty important to personal happiness. Just remember that your universe is not the same as your friends’ or even your spouse’s. It’s a balancing act to learn what to pull in and what to push back out. We may find former things that brought us joy bringing us down and things that used to give us pause reviving us.
Change is often scary, but always necessary. We have to let events unfold without having a handle on the control switch. We have to decide if we want the outcome to alter us and in what way. If change didn’t take place beautiful things wouldn’t occur. Marriage, the birth of a child, a move, a career change… And it’s true that the bad wouldn’t happen either – death, divorce, loss of a friend. There will always be good and bad, but we can choose to focus on the good. We can choose to try our best and let the bad that we cannot control have a positive influence on the lives we are given.