I’ve spent much of my children’s lives documenting as many ‘memories’ as I can. Photos here, videos there, little snippets of their daily lives. I’ve shared many of these things with family and friends, and some publicly. I love to share my kids.
But lately, I’ve felt the need to pull back. To take them out of the spotlight a bit. I feel like so much of our identities are public now. And it’s not all good. Sharing with our closest family members may be innocent. But if they share a photo of my children innocently on Facebook, and then someone else shares it, well I never know who ended up with it. That is scary.
There are photos of my kids sprinkled through my blog. I often hesitate before posting pictures. I know what’s here is public. And even if I ‘delete’ the photo, it’s out there for good. It’s hard to know what we’re okay with for the sake of education, support, etc…and where to draw the line for privacy.
There’s a part of me that often wants to take our lives totally offline. To give up internet, a crazy habit of texting every single thing, a constant need to be ‘plugged in’. It wasn’t so long ago that I spent a childhood devoid of internet and cell phones. We played outside, we played indoors, all sorts of imaginative games completely absent of technology other than electricity. It was a happy time for me.
Don’t get me wrong. Anyone who knows me well knows I am a technology junky. I can spend hours on the internet, tablet, etc. and be quite happy. Yet when I do, I feel I’m missing out. I’m missing life. While I’m documenting what has happened, I’ve missed what is happening.
I don’t make resolutions. You won’t find me swearing off junk food, TV, and probably not the internet. But I do know when my life needs adjustment. I’ve been slowly leaving behind this social network or that for the last several months. I’ve simplified what time I do spend online in hopes to find a happy medium.
So you’ll still find me blogging away as long as it makes me happy. For the time being, I am no longer sewing to sell items. I haven’t been for a bit now and I don’t want to be. There is too much time, procedure, and effort for that to be good for me now. I’m sewing for happiness, for my family, for myself. In hopes to help others. I’m blogging for myself and in hopes that something I write or share helps someone else in even a small way.
So what are my goals for the upcoming year? To be present. To be with my kids instead of documenting them. To unplug enough to not miss the internet if I go a day or two without it. To not take a tablet on vacation and pray the hotel has internet access. To be free…and happier.
Why, I might even grow a garden this year ;).